The Craftsman’s Forge

It’s been 7 months since I had my operation to put in my defibrillator, and truth be told, recovery was in my opinion not as fast as I would like. I’m not talking about being able to walk and do normal stuff in general, but rather, it took me about more than a month plus before I was able to raise my left arm above my shoulder. This was to prevent the leads from being accidentally moved out of position from the heart.

Even after a month, I found that I could still feel the leads tugging softly in the heart region. As the months passed, I began to feel less of it as my body got used to the leads. But, one of the things that bugged me for quite a while, was the fact that I still couldn’t really run. When I jogged, I felt a small little weight of the leads tugging at my heart. While it was not painful, it just felt out of the ordinary. So, I didn’t run for a while, although I continued with the occasional walks, which was perfectly fine.

Recently, after moving to our new place, I discovered that the neighborhood park was just in front of my home, and it was super convenient to head to the park for regular walks. I’ve been trying to walk 2 to 3 times a week for the last few weeks now. Two weeks ago, I attempted jogging to see if everything was ok. To my surprise, I didn’t feel a single thing! Nothing unusual at all! I was more than ecstatic to say the least! I didn’t run then though, as I wanted to take it really slow.

Its been 2 weeks since, and tonight I headed to the other nearby but larger Punggol Park. One round in the park is 1.2 km, so I only had to circle it twice to get my target distance. I wanted to run tonight, and was understandably nervous. I knew I would not run the full 2.4km, and was in fact trying to aim for just 1.2km. I walked 1.2km, and on my second round, I started a slow jog. It was really nice to finally run.

I made it to 700m before I started feeling a little flutter from the heart, which was where I immediately stopped running, and just continued walking.

I’m really happy to have at least made the 700 metres. I’ll probably continue slowly building up my stamina and running only 500 to 700 metres until I’m fully fit to do more.

Through my condition, I’ve come to love God more, and had to walk through some heavy duty thought processes about life and death, and am happy to come to the conclusion that indeed, our lives are completely in the hands of the Almighty God.

Still, with this mindset, I am still amazed when I hear stories like the one I heard this morning from one of my church pastors who is a cancer patient. Chemotherapy is not an option for him, but he’s trusting that God is his absolute healer. To be able to come to such a conclusion is not easy, but he must have come to a deep understanding and conviction of who his father and provider is. Most importantly, he must have also come to the understanding and conviction that this world is not his home, but that he is just passing through. He has something far greater waiting for him beyond the blue….

Oh… another thing….. my legs hurt like mad…

Ariel: Daddy, is Mas Salamat captured yet?

Me: Yes, Honey. They caught him in Malaysia.

Ariel: Huh? How did he go to Malaysia? Mas Salamat got a car?

Me: No, Honey. He swam across to Malaysia.

Ariel: *eyes big and amazed* Dun bluff me….

Me: Never bluff you, Ariel. Really. He swam across to Malaysia.

Ariel: How? Theres no swimming pool? (Ariel goes for weekly swimming lessons at the Seng kang pool, and the thought of swimming in the sea never occured to her)

Me: 0_o Pffhhttt……

I was flipping through the channels while in my room last week, comatosed when I saw this on TV….

Ps Kong Hee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My goodness! City Harvest Church is on TV in HK!!!!! Woaahhh!!!! Creation TV that is. They’re a local Christian TV station. Their website is here.

I had a nice time listening to him while half awake.

My Apistos spawned!!!!! Saw the fries swimming free with mummy this morning before we left the house. Will have to keep monitoring them for 3 days, and remove the adults in a couple of days. Wheeee!!!! I’m so happy….. Can’t get any pics now. The fires are too tiny.

I finally got meself a small 30cm(L)x18cm(B)x18cm(H) tank for my desk in the office. Have been thinking about it for days now! Just filled it up today with cycled water from home, 2 baby guppies and a pair of Pelvicachromis pulcher, or more commonly known as the Rainbow Krib. Its a more common cousin of the Pelvicachromis taeniatus, or Nigerian Red, which I really want. But the Nigerian Red is S$55 a pair, and I’ve decided to only get it for home. The Pelvicachromis pulcher on the other hand is only S$3.00 a pair. I’m hoping they settle in nicely and lay me some eggs!

I’ve not written for some time now, chiefly because over the course of the last 3 weeks or so, I was reminded through my cardiologist appointment, that I have a genetic heart condition that’s known as Brugada Syndrome.
To cut the long story short, as I am writing from the ward, and it’s not exactly easy to type on the iPhone; I had to have an Implantable
Cardioverter Defibrillator (ICD) implanted just under my skin in my upper left chest. What this device does, is to monitor the heart, and deliver any life saving shock required if my heart ever goes into Ventricular Fibrillation.
Over the last few weeks, I was in a constant struggle over this, as disbelief and denial came over me. How could this happen to me? Then, the Lord began His work in me, and as He gently worked in me, I began surrendering everything to Him. Do I know why He has allowed this? Well, no I don’t. But I know only one thing…. That in all of this, the heavenly Father MUST be glorified.
I am sitting on my hospital bed now, blogging this, and knowing full well that He has me in His ever loving arms. it is an absolutely wonderful place to be in.
More about this in the days to follow.

Psalm 91

1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.
3 For he will rescue you from every trap
and protect you from deadly disease.
4 He will cover you with his feathers.
He will shelter you with his wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
nor the arrow that flies in the day.
6 Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
7 Though a thousand fall at your side,
though ten thousand are dying around you,
these evils will not touch you.
8 Just open your eyes,
and see how the wicked are punished.

9 If you make the Lord your refuge,
if you make the Most High your shelter,
10 no evil will conquer you;
no plague will come near your home.
11 For he will order his angels
to protect you wherever you go.
12 They will hold you up with their hands
so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.
13 You will trample upon lions and cobras;
you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

14 The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
I will protect those who trust in my name.
15 When they call on me, I will answer;
I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honor them.
16 I will reward them with a long life
and give them my salvation.”

10th October, 2008

I had a dream early this morning, and I believe its a significant dream. I can still remember the dream quite vividly, and is only the second dream in my entire christian lifetime.
My family and I were in our house, and they were all sleeping. It seemed to be in early morning, and I was looking out the living room windows to a scenery not unlike the mountainous Cameron Highlands view from our hotel room when we were in Cameron Highlands. The road is an “L” shaped road, with the long side of the “L” shape directly in front of me, and the shorter side of the “L” perpendicular from me, maybe about 50 metres to my right. The mountain was just behind this “L” road.

I was enjoying the quiet scene, when suddenly, I saw a huge trailer carrying sand tumbling down the mountain side and onto the “L” road. The scene was spectacular, with the trailer breaking up and tearing up everything in its path. When the trailer eventually came to rest, and I thought it was over, a huge boulder (about 3 times the size of the trailer cab) came rolling down the short “L” road. It hit the first house at the end of the “L” shape road, and the house came tumbling down, leaving a skeletal structure still standing. Then the boulder continued rolling down the road, and destroying the rest of the structures the trailer didn’t destroy. Throughout this carnage, our house was not touched or harmed.
I was just looking on in amazement, and I could feel our entire house shaking with the tremendous vibration of the destruction, and I remembered quite vividly that I was not afraid as I knew nothing would harm us. I saw my dad running towards me, and then… I suddenly realised that the kids were still sleeping. I quickly went to see if they were ok. They were all still ok. We gathered together as a family, and when the vibrations stilled, we walked cautiously out of the house to see what has happened.
Everything was now deathly quiet with dust filling the air. I glanced to my right, and saw that the skeletal structure of the first house was still standing, but before I could say anything, the remaining part of the first building came crashing down, and brought debris flying in all directions. I quickly shouted to everyone to close their eyes and turn away from the direction of the crashing house. We could feel the debris (small stones, concrete, etc) flying past us, and even pelting us on our bodies. When it was over, I opened my eyes and saw that we were all ok.

Interpretation
I believe this is an encouragement from God that all will be ok. We may be shaken by the things around us, but that we will be escape unharmed. I’m not sure though if the trailer and boulder each represent a calamity, or it should be taken as representative of “A” calamity.

I received a call from mum yesterday at about 11:30am, and she had a frantic voice about her. Dad and her were travelling back from Hougang Mall via the North East Line, and when they were in the station, dad got onto the train at the very last minute while mum didn’t! The doors closed after dad got on, and they were separated!!!!

When mum called, she was already at home, but had waited for 30 minutes at the Hougang station for dad to come back… but he didn’t. She finally made her way back home, and called us. By the time she did, dad had already been “missing” for more than 45 minutes.

I was in a panic, and could feel my blood pressure rise and my heart thumping….. Goodness! The worst thing was.. I couldn’t do a single thing to get dad back quickly. Only thing I could do was pray, and get my cell group mates to pray. I also called SBS transit’s customer service, where I spoke to a complete farce of a customer service girl. Not helpful at all, and irrelevant. If I’m the head of SBS Transit, I’d fire her. The same goes for SMRT. They really need to revamp their customer service hotlines. Its impossible to get someone on the line.

Dad had a stroke about more than a year back, and although he has recovered, and is of sound mind, he can’t speak coherently because of the stroke. So… I was understandably worried. I was already considering heading out to the stations to comb the area, but a voice in me told me to relax and breath easy…..

I called mum again at 11:45am, and to my BIG BIG BIG surprise, she told me that dad just reached home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

W A H L A O !!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank God that he’s safely back home…..

Goodness…. the number of things happening in the last couple of weeks is amazing…… All these after I accepted the call to serve as asst CG leader in church…… I don’t want to belabour the point too much, nor give the devil too much credit, but I can certainly sense heightened spiritual warfare…..

Last week was a bit of a blur…..

On Tuesday afternoon, I had quite a scare. Felt some discomfort in my chest area (or at least I thought was chest discomfort), and was panicky enough to rush myself to SGH’s A&E to quickly get checked up in case it was a heart attack. In the past 2 months alone, my cell group had 3 guys with heart issues. G1 had a heart attack and a bypass op. G2 had a genetic heart desease and had to get an op. Then… EW experienced some chest pains while exercising, and got himself checked up, and ended finding out he had a 95% blocked artery, and as a result went for an angioplasty surgery.

These were quite enough to spur me to be fairly jumpy last Tuesday. I ended up at A&E’s observation area for more than 9 hours, leaving only after 10:30pm, after having gone through 2 blood tests, an X-Ray and a bout of ECG tests. In the end, all tests were normal, that is.. the X-Ray didn’t show an enlargement of the heart (which is indicative of a heart attack), the blood tests didn’t show any abnormalities with the cardiac markers, and the ECG didn’t show any abnormality except for indication of RBBB which I already know I have.

So, they allowed me to head back home at 10:30pm, and arranging for a follow up consultation with the cardiologist in 2 weeks.

Regardless of the situation, it’s woken me up to how frail life is, and how we should take care of ourselves. I’ve tweaked my diet and begun exercising. Scary….

But, in all of these, I also recognise that there is a heightened sense of spiritual warfare on the church I go to, the cell group and also personally in recent months. The cell group is heading out for a mission trip in December to Thailand, and church has just moved into Woodlands. At the end of it all, I know that God is sovereign and in charge. We just have to keep ourselves stucked into God and praying.